Every Father’s Day, we dads go through a tortured exercise of cognitive dissonance. On the one hand we love that our impressive brood have thought enough of dear old dad to point chubby little fingers at some object, like say a rep tie or a talking/singing 5-pound bass mounted on a plaque for mom to buy for us. Outstanding! Well done wee little one. The dread comes when adding said sweater or socks or cravat to our rather substantial and growing (each June!) collection.
Submitted for your approval, a proposed moratorium on the “point and purchase” routine on behalf of all conflicted dads for Father’s Day. What follows then is a list of several objects of desire, and a few everyday (totally preapproved as cool) knickknacks that will make your old man’s day come Sunday.
Peddles Make the Man (lose his gut) – eBike by Kalkhoff
Want to do something about that growing girth? Want to join the ranks of the green movement? This eBike will help you do both in comfort and style. The Kalkhoff Pro Connect, built for stability with suspension forks up front and a slightly longish wheelbase, will help dad rock his summer suit in comfort whilst peddling from home to office with as little stress as possible. Riders are offered 50 to 200 percent peddle-assist thanks to a 300-watt motor. And with 27 gear combinations, the old man will be able to tackle even the steepest of climbs with butt firmly planted in the saddle (no need to stand up and sweat those streets of San Francisco!). Dad will love this eBike with its onboard computer, speedometer, and LCD display, not to mention headlights and taillights and very generous battery life. He might even wear the tie the kids gave him last year on its inaugural ride.
Headphones to Soothe the Beasty Austin to LAX Commute
When our iPhone earbuds finally wear down (after the cat has chewed on them, and the kids have borrowed them for the 100th time) it’s time for an upgrade. And, if you’re looking for a gift we’ll appreciate immediately, then here are two price-points for our listening pleasure:
The Klipsch is a terrifically priced alternative to what we really want, the Bose Comfort 3 headphones (more on them in just a sec). They can be found at Amazon for $79, and they sound great. Truly. Silver and black, they come packaged in a Altoid-like silver tin, and are one of CNET’s Editor’s Choices for this category. Can’t go wrong here.
· Bose Quiet Comfort 3
The latest iteration of this line of best-in-class headphones from Bose works on so many levels. They are not cheap at $349 to be sure, but they are noise-cancelling, sound great, and if we amortize the $1 headphone rental from United Airlines, by the time we’re 75 we’ll have paid for them. The headphones fit the contour of the ear, and the cord can be unplugged so that we can use them as a standalone noise reduction without music.
It’s retro, loud and goes fast!
Okay, okay, this one is not your everyday Father’s Day gift. But, in every generation, there is an atavistic and very male impulse to ride the hog, throw rooster tails, and take to a cross-country jaunt on a Ducati or Gold Wing. It all started with Steve McQueen in “The Great Escape” jumping 15 foot high fences and then his brief appearance in “On Any Sunday.” Dude was cool … and he rode a Triumph. And now this retro ride is back and we can all be cool for only $8,800.
The Life of Riley
You know it when you see it: style. Am I right? When a dad rocks a certain elan, people notice, whether he be 27 or 77. The desert or chukka boot is style incarnate definitely boosts the typical male’s game. These boots are understated but noticeable. Men envy the bloke that rocks his chukkas with a casual summer suit with aplomb. Women notice the man pairing his desert boot with his favorite jeans. Throw a chambray shirt on with a linen jacket and you’ve got a nice Father’s Day ensemble for church, then afternoon bbq, and maybe even a movie if dad can keep from taking his siesta.
What time is it? Oh, let me check my watch ...
These days, a man’s watch says as much about him as the car he drives. But, let’s not go overboard, shall we? I mean, five figures on a watch? If you’re going to spend a few thousand on a nice watch, just be sure that you have a son or grandson to leave it to.
The two brothers (Nick and Giles English) that own the watch company Bremont swear they named their watch co. after the gentleman whose field that crash-landed their airplane into (on?). As someone who has named or branded companies and products, I have to say, that’s a pretty good one. Maybe even better than LuxeMont.
Happy Father’s Day, y’all.