28 December 2010

The Denouement of the Holiday Troika is Upon Us (this Friday)!

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve, the big three ... er, I mean, The Big Three! This holiday troika (at least for us Yanks in America) magically assembles food, family, fond memories, and revelry into six weeks of one giant bolus of sheer deliciousness (eww?!). Man, do I love the Holidays! Admittedly, at times, for some, the big three are accompanied by a dull misery of forced affection, disappointment, close quarters with odd-job relatives, and stark, oppressive loneliness. But, mostly, I think you'd agree, when all's said and done, the Big Three are just what we usually assign to them: joy and cheer, wrapped up in a puff pastry of warm intentions, topped with a soupçon of whipped sugary nostalgia that we look forward to, or back on, with equal parts eager anticipation and longing.

Since I've been so/too busy the last year trying to see my little company succeed, I've been rightfully so/too preoccupied to give myself the requisite time that a typical (lame arse) FatScribe entry deserves. There have been so many nights that I'd kick my suede boots up onto my writing desk and just read (with jealousy and amazement) the wonderfully creative blog entries from so many of my blogger pals. There just hasn't been the time to put something down on the "new post" entry web interface that matches their efforts and skill. So many excuses, so little time.

What follows are a few CHEERS! (toasts) that I'd like to make, as well as a few snarky DYMI (Dude, you totally freakin' missed it!) comments that are long overdue. So, here goes:

* CHEERS! To my ex-wife and mother of our amazing and handsome and brilliant boys, may you be blessed beyond comprehension for all that you do for our kids. You're a great mom.
* CHEERS! To my blogger pals. I have left dozens (and dozens) of comments in 2010 at the bottom of a lot of amazing posts and pithy entries and lengthy (beautifully written) articles and (unbelievable) photos and stunning (read fattening) recipes and inspiring fashion/decor/beauty posts. God bless all of you guys in 2011! I admire so many of you from afar, and have been blessed to become friends with a goodly number of you. (Even though some of you politely put up with my conservative leanings!)

* CHEERS! President Obama, for visiting the military around the world, putting yourself in harm's way to support the men and woman of our armed forces who give their lives and sacred honor to protect us. Good on ya.

* CHEERS! The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf is a softer, hipper version of Starbucks. I've never (and I mean ever) warmed to Starbucks. Don't know what it is. Maybe it's that in almost 10 years of business consulting with legal departments, I've never gotten in to pitch to Starbucks in-house legal department up in Seattle. I got through to the General Counsel of Coffee Bean first try, probably because they're L.A.-based and a bit more laid back (and maybe, b/c they're 1/20th the size of Starbucks!). But, more importantly, I LOVE their coffee. Actually, I guess it's the Coffee Bean powder in their vanilla lattes that I prefer over the Starbucks syrup.

Many of you, Dear Reader, comment via email on the so-called "star-sightings" in L.A./Coffee Bean that I chronicle here at the ole porkster; one quick Holiday update: As I was hopping out of my black MKX, an amazing black Range Rover was pulling in next to me. The driver thought she recognized me and shot me a wonderfully flirty smile. We exchanged hello's, and then she realized as we were walking into the Coffee Bean in Calabasas (across the street from Kim Kardashian's retail store) that I was not her acquaintance. Nicolette Sheridan (from Desperate Housewives) and I shared a few moments chatting whilst we waited for our lattes to arrive. In spite of the rumors I'd read about in the Hollywood Reporter of her being "insane," I remained remarkably close to her cougar hotness the entire time. The day before I instantly recognized Brad Garrett's (Everyone Loves Raymond) deep, resonant voice in Westlake Village, where I was getting a latte for my niece and myself. Brad was with his brood and ex-wife. And, last but by far not least, I spied Ms. Minnie Driver (Good Will Hunting) in Malibu as I (and she) sat outside in the wonderful Holiday cold sipping something warm and cheery. Gotta love Coffee Bean.

Our Mother, Joan Isabelle
* CHEERS! To my family and close family friends this Holiday Season. We had an amazingly beautiful, bittersweet Christmas together this year, and a horribly sad one being our first without our mother, sister, Aunt Joanie, Grandma and dear friend. Joan Isabelle was the glue that kept us together even when we couldn't stand each other (which, thankfully, was not that often). She was our best friend and touchstone and matriarch. Gawd, I miss her so much that I can scarcely write about her. But, knowing her, she'd want us to plow ahead, even if she might not be the center of attention any longer (which she loved being). And, she was there with us, in the midst of our joy of being together. In our playing pool and X-Box 360. Sitting out back with us around the patio chimney, whilst we smoked a cigar and had a Jack-n-Coke. When Christmas Eve presents were opened by her 60 yr-old son side-by-side her great-grandson.   As a mother to eleven (yes, 11), and grandmother to 25 and great-grandmother to six, she was admired and loved and fawned over and is deservedly missed.  Love you, mom. Miss you, mom.

* CHEERS! To my business partner for his efforts in our humble little company. May he and our clients and our company be blessed in 2011 (even if I go back into consulting)!

* CHEERS! To the incoming Congress. May you clowns be better than the last clowns. You might be a bunch of clowns, er, politicians with an (R) next to your funny little names, but let's see if y'all can at least govern like you're a bunch of conservative little clowns.

And, now a few DYMIs. I say, *pace professore! With all due respect, here are a few Bronx Cheers, aka, the FatScribe DYMIs.

* "pa·ce" (pä'chā) With the permission of; with deference to. Used to express polite or ironically polite disagreement.

* DYMI President Obama, for taking a small city with him to escape mid-term election results in India, costing the taxpayers untold and unnecessary millions. 3,000 people? Really?

* DYMI Aaron Sorkin (West Wing, The Social Network) you are an amazingly talented writer/producer. But, you are nonetheless proving yourself an extremist liberal hack, and you deserve the FatScribe Bronx Cheer of the DYMI. I will watch all of the programs or films you write, but your insisting that Barrack Obama is amongst the smartest people in America is untennable. How do you know this, Aaron? If you have the president's college transcripts, please share with the rest of the class (and no, I don't want to see his birth certificate!). For some reason, even the ubiquitous (and feckless) media haven't produced these (as you would say) dispositive documents. So, please stop already. Where were you when people were picking on George W. Bush who got BETTER grades than Al Gore while he was at Harvard and Yale. Even I have an IQ higher than Al Gore, and I'm not shouting to all who will hear that George W. Bush is amongst the smartest Americans I know ...because he's not, and neither are your favorite libs, Mssrs. A. Gore and B. Obama. You, though, admittedly, are pretty damn smart.

Note to Aaron and rest of the class: Being (supposedly) articulate, or having charisma (Jon Stewart/Bill Mahr) or billions in the bank (Bill Gates/Warren Buffet/Ted Turner), does NOT mean you're amongst the smartest people in America. Just sayin'. Give me the first 500 names in the Boston phone book to run things over the Eastern establishment elitists any day of the week and twice on Sunday. (Miss you too, Bill Buckley!)

* DYMI Ricky Gervais You are an amazingly talented writer/actor. But, you are nonetheless an extremist atheist hack, and you deserve the FatScribe Bronx Cheer of the DYMI. I will watch all of the (well, most of your) programs and films you write and star in (and see the stand-up shows you put on), but your insisting that anyone who believes in God is a fool is foolish and untennable. Like Dawkins, or Hitchens, et.al., you all may be brilliant, but when 98% of the souls inhabiting the bodies on this planet believe in a higher being, you cannot truly believe that we are fools, or that you have the sole revelatory insight into the hereafter. Just sayin', brother.

Here's wishing everyone a wonderful, FatScribe Happy New Year!!!!

* Photo credit "Fountain Pen" at Athena!



Julie@beingRUBY said...

Great shot of you and your boys!! and lovely sentimental piece about your mum!! I know I still miss mine and it has been ??? 35 years!!

Hope the coming year is your best yet.. Was just thinking about you the other day.. I think you first came to visit with my letter to 2009.. Well.. 2010 didn't quite hit the mark either.. so i might have a DYMI for him also!!

I totally concur re Starbucks.. we have it here also.. and well.. it's not really coffee.. although I'm more an italiano style coffee lover..

A great New Year.. to you and yours!! ciao xxx Julie And as word verification tells me... 'Guitio' to you too!!!

Char said...

hello stranger - it's been a while. sounds like you're rather a busy bee and that is always good in my book. as i was looking back over the year in news and photographs, i was rather thankful for the small, quiet life that i have. the bronx cheer that i give is to BP for its handling of, well everything really and the credit market that allowed the junk credit out there to create the mess of the past few years. hopefully we are on the road to recovery.

enjoy the new year!

Kathy said...

Dear FatS..You've made my morning..wonderful post..fabulous family photo...beautiful tribute to mom...Have a Happy and HEALTHY New Year...K

Patty O' said...

here's a dollop. love you, and love the suit (in your profile pic). keep up the touching "drop by's" JG. wish we saw more of ya.

Julia Christie said...


Thanks for the visit and for sharing this lovely pic of you and your sweet boys and your Aunt. So sorry for your loss, but she sounds like an amazing woman - you were so blessed to have her in your life!

Have to say this year I have enjoyed all of your witticisms ~ You splay them like no other! I've missed your posts, as pithy and diverting are in short supply and I always leave your blog thinking!

What a different world you live in down there in California!

Best to you and your family and kudos to you for acknowledging your ex as a great mother. Great Mothers and Fathers are to be celebrated for sure!

I hope you find time for more posts this coming year - something to look forward to.

Smiles and Happy New Year!


Barbara said...

Many thanks for your praise in my comment section today. It made my day!

And what a fun photo of you and your boys...along with kudos to their mom. What a lovely ex you must be!

I miss my parents too and it's been 10 years. Imagine we all think of those we loved at this time of year...it can be a sad holiday for many. Bittersweet is the perfect word.

Love your Cheers! and DYMI list...so very true. I'm not a coffee drinker, but hear my daughter knock Starbucks all the time. (Her new favorite is Intelligentcia.)

For the New Year I have three wishes: health for my family, success for my daughter's gallery business (and your company), and hope that the new Congress can turn back Obama's errors.

Wishing you the best, always!


Caleb S. Garcia said...

Great end of the year blog Johnny G. I enjoyed your "Cheers," thanks for paying tribute, I liked the holler out to Calabasas and Malibu as well. Best of luck in the coming year, you are an inspiration and a great friend. Dennis Prager plays the Will F Buckley sound bite, thats a good one. Peace my friend.

Dumbwit Tellher said...

Greetings my friend - I get more of an education from reading your posts than catching the news. I must say I don't lean as far to the right as you do Jg but you sure keep me on my toes & I love it.

I'm very sad about the loss of your mother and ashamed of myself. This entire year I've been complaining about the loss of my mom and I had no inkling you were going through just the same thing. My deepest apologies and my heart-felt sympathy. We were truly blessed to have mom's that were the 'glue'. Your mother was a beautiful woman & I most definitely see the resemblance. The photo of you with your sons is tremendous. Your a great dad and a good ex-husband.. just saying!

As for Starbucks..I concur 100%.

I've missed your posts but you've been off doing great deeds & building your empire. May 2011 make all your dreams come true.

Cheers ~ Deb

Toad said...

I become so happy whenever i see that you have a new post. It makes my day.

happy 11 from our family to you and your readers, followers, family and friends.

Alexandra said...

Thanks for all your comments. Happy New Year. and I enjoy the celeb name dropping. cheers!

christian soldier said...

so glad you are posting again!
and your tributes are good to read-
I esp. liked the tribute to your X-wife-giving her credit for the work she is doing raising up your/and her sons...very seldom does one receive such a word of appreciation from one's husband...

How is your book coming--

I just completed 24 + illustrations for one of my books (the other is in the computer-4 years now geeeees) - now to get it (them) published (will self publish) ---

My Dog-Eared Pages said...

Jg., I'm so late in reading this holiday troika post. And, I am now so sorry to learn about your mom. A true beauty and mom to 11 ~ how WONDERFUL is that?! A gal to cherish forever. Best wishes for your perfect 2011.
; ) Barbara